Relationship with Others: The Difficult Person

Tomorrow we will turn our attention to the last category of Metta practice – the difficult person.  We will spend a couple of weeks on this relationship because we can easily become caught in the story of the relationship.  Our exploration is around how to practice with this relationship.  What can be learned and understood because of our practice around this relationship.

Traditionally, we pick one relationship and stay with it for awhile.  We reach this category after going through the other four which are supposed to be easier.  Ideally, we began to practice with this relationship when we are open and connected to our heart energy.  We don’t use the person we have a lot of pain around.  It should be a relationship that has some degree of unpleasantness but nor more than we can hold.

Inherent within the relationship with a difficult person is our story about the person.  The story inevitably revolves around some harm to us or another.  The thinking mind is then forced into a position of trying to understand, fix or change to difficult person. To the thinking mind there is a wrong that must be righted and any practice should be around making this happen.  But what if we practice with difficult people simply to feel the difficulty.  What if the tension itself is the practice?  Could you be still with the tension?  Could you accept that there is no more?  No need for something to change?  Let’s start our discussion here and see where it takes us.

Tuere

 

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