Lately I’ve been struggling a lot with loving-kindness, the parami I’ll be facilitating this Thursday. This universal, boundless, friendliness towards all beings, this loving-kindness, is so hard to give myself. I desire to live up to a set of expectations about how I think my thirty-something self should be in the world. How I should think, behave and speak, and what, pray-tell, I should do with my life. It’s my internal tendency towards perfectionism compounded by a mainstream, dominant society that rewards having one’s shit together at all times, (or at least appearing to) and punishes those, by birth or circumstance, that do not.
What would happen if I set about giving myself some intentional empathy and open spacious-ness this week? What if I set aside this ‘not good enough’ mind, and invited in what Gil Fronsdal calls “radical kindness” in its place? What would that look like? What would that feel like? How would that change the quality of my relationships with others? My everyday interactions with family, friends, co-workers, students, and strangers? How would it change my relationship to myself?
Looking forward to sharing what arises with you this Thursday.